Evolution - Eruri - ErwinWeek - Day 2: LoveLoyalty
by nabawrites
Summary: Evolution - noun: the gradual development of something, especially from a simple to a more complex form. It goes both ways.


Evolutioon – Erurui – ErwinWeek – Day 2: Love/Loyalty

 _ **A/N I was going to end this differently, but it played out so perfectly. I couldn't help it. I may or may not add to this to give it a happy ending. Don't hold your breath though.**_

Loyalty. It goes both ways.

At first, neither of them had any loyalty to each other at all. Levi had to get the documents and he planned to kill Erwin along the way. Erwin had to keep Levi from killing him, and he wanted to recruit him, knowing he'd make a great asset. Of course, only Erwin succeeded in what he had to do, and only Erwin got what he wanted.

But that was when the loyalty began.

Levi was lost and alone. All he knew was the Erwin seemed to know what he was doing and where he was going, and if he followed him then he wouldn't have to figure it all out himself, he wouldn't have to go back underground, and he could take out his rage on every titan he saw. It hadn't really had anything to do with loyalty in the beginning, but as he continued to work with the man and slowly earned his trust, he saw what kind of man Erwin was behind those ridiculous eyebrows. He was an intelligent man who was always right, had been ever since he was a child. He was a brilliant strategist whose plans always went more or less how he intended. And he was a good man, far better than most anyone else Levi had ever met. He figured Erwin deserved his loyalty, had earned it through actions.

Actions were really all that mattered to Levi anyway. And Erwin just kept winning, just kept being right, and Levi knew he'd probably follow that man into a flock of titans, much less a burning building.

For Erwin, it was different. He had had a grudging respect for Levi since they met. He was skilled, and despite his hard life and incessant scowl, Erwin could tell that when he cared for someone he'd do anything for them. He saw as much with Farlan and Isabell. On the inside, he wished that the two hadn't died that day, but he never showed it. He had to stand strong, despite all the loss he saw on a regular basis – all the death and gore and senselessness. And he saw that, despite losing everything he'd ever cared about, Levi was strong too. It was a kind of strength Erwin couldn't help but admire, and over time, as Levi continued to follow him, to obey every order and perform with an inhuman perfection, he slowly grew to develop an attachment to the man. He called it loyalty, and it was a dangerous thing. It was important to have it for your superiors, because loyalty was what made one obey, more than fear or love or any other motivator Erwin knew of. But it was never a good thing for a commander to have towards his subordinates. In the cruel world they lived in, people died every day. People were eaten on a regular basis and nobody could save everybody. Most of the time, you couldn't even save one person. The forces they fought against were too great, and Erwin couldn't afford the grief that would come from losing someone whom he not only respected and admire, but who had also proven himself worthy of the loyalty Erwin could not deny he felt.

But Levi never died. He never got eaten. He never lost, so Erwin fell deeper into what he stubbornly called 'attachment'.

Sentiment. It goes both ways.

At first, everything was normal. Or at least, it was as normal as two men in the Survey Corp who fought titans on a regular basis could be. Levi was loyal to the commander, his superior officer, and Erwin did his best to do right by his best soldier. There was nothing unusual, abnormal… peculiar about that.

But then it changed.

Levi started to notice more about his commander. In addition to his intelligence and moral character, he noticed how strong the man was. He noticed when Erwin hid a smile whenever Hanji did something crazy, yet humorous. He noticed when Erwin dubiously raised one of those crazy eyebrows at the general stupidity of the Military Police. He noticed all the little expressions, habits, and tells. He figured out what made Erwin tick, and he found that he was… fond. He didn't like being fond. No one was invincible, not even really smart commanders who were never wrong. He'd lost everyone he'd ever cared about and he doubted Erwin would be any different. But he couldn't help himself. He cared. He cared a lot.

And when he started to notice things about himself, like the way his body reacted when Erwin would lean in close to tell him something in confidence, he knew that this sentiment wasn't exactly platonic.

For Erwin, it was much the same. He noticed different things about Levi, like his obsession with all things clean, his staunch refusal to talk about anything regarding his past, and his undying love for tea. He learned to see through the scowled mask he always wore to the flurry of emotions that hid behind it. The fear, the loyalty, the love for his men – Levi cared far more than he wanted to let on, and Erwin couldn't help but identify with that. He had his own mask – a stone mask – one that made people think less that he was plotting their murder and more that he just couldn't care less, but a mask nevertheless.

And as he learned to see through the mask to the subtle contentment he felt when cleaning, to the peace he experienced when drinking a cup of tea, or the vindication he felt when he slew titan after titan, Erwin couldn't help but wonder what kind of emotions Levi felt when he was around Erwin, and he wondered what it would take to see Levi without his ever present mask.

Love. It goes both ways.

At first, what they felt couldn't even be considered close to love. For Levi, it was a crush. Then it was lust. There were few people in his life whom he felt he could trust, and even fewer stuck around long enough for Levi to indulge in that trust, whether because they left on their own or because they got eaten was beside the point. Erwin was the only real constant in his life, and he couldn't help the attachment, but it wasn't anything deep or meaningful. Trust and feeling horny sometimes. That was all. Erwin was fascinated by his subordinate. He'd never met someone who had a mask as impressive as his own before. He was curious by nature, and he wanted to see what was behind that mask. And yes, he found the man to be attractive, but that was nothing new. No, it was a simple fascination. That was all.

But then it was more.

Levi was slowly waking up to the fact that he would do more than kill for Erwin. He was starting to realize that he would probably kill for the man, too. And when that titan got a hold of Erwin's arm and started to carry him away from Levi, he felt his insides ripping apart, because, just like last time, he was pretty much helpless to do anything about it. And when Erwin came back, missing an arm but not his life, Levi felt a relief and a joy that he hadn't ever known before. And when the battle was over and Hanji was trying to stop the bleeding and bandage the stump, when Erwin held Levi's hand with the only one he had left but still refused to look him in the eye, when Levi heard Erwin's strangled screams die in his throat instead of in the air-

Levi could not deny the true name of what he felt any longer.

For Erwin, he was not one to exhibit denial. He might lie to others when necessary, but he would never lie to himself. Because someone else was sure to figure it out too, and couldn't let someone else know more about himself than he did. So when he noticed his fascination turning into something more, something deeper, he allowed himself to acknowledge it. He wouldn't be in denial, but he would deny himself of what he craved. So he suffered his love in silence, believing that someone who had lost as much as Levi had would never be willing to take the risk of opening their heart again.

And for the first time since he was a child, he was wrong.

Pain. It goes both ways.

At first, as Hanji tried to be careful, tried to limit his pain, Erwin thought that he could brave it alone. Levi thought he could too, but as the constrained screams made it past Erwin's tightly sealed lips, Levi could not stand by any longer. He walked up to the table Erwin was sitting on and gripped the wrist of his remaining arm. "Eyebrows, what can I do to help?"

Hanji interjected before Erwin could answer. "Get up on the table behind him. Hold him in place. If he faints, we can't have him falling backwards. The success of the operation hinges on his ability to sit still."

Levi nodded and did as he was told. He climbed up on the table and supported Erwin's weight, and the commander gratefully leaned back against his chest, pressing the side of his face into Levi's collar bone. Levi didn't know what to do, if there was anything he could do, so he repeated his question. This time it was a whisper in his commander's ear. "Erwin, what can I do to help?"

Erwin shook his head, unable to speak through the pain. He reached back and grabbed Levi's hand, intertwining their fingers and squeezing with everything he had. Levi nodded, understanding that all he could do was be there. He cradled the back of Erwin's head with his free hand and pressed a light kiss to his scalp. "It'll be over soon," he murmured into his blond hair, not knowing if it was true or not. Erwin simply took a deep breath and pressed further against his chest, crying out again in pain.

Levi looked up at Hanji to gauge the situation. Hanji noticed him looking and shook her head. "He's losing too much blood, and I don't have the supplies I need. I don't even have morphine to help with the pain."

Levi swallowed and removed the hand that wasn't holding Erwin's from his head. He wrapped the arm around Erwin's chest and held him closer, breathing in the scent of his hair. Levi might be losing the man he loved, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Erwin, apparently, was lucid enough to hear what Hanji said. "It's okay," he whispered against Levi's chest. He sat up slightly and looked up into Levi's eyes. "It's okay," he repeated, and he pressed a light kiss to Levi's lips. He felt a tear slip from Levi's cheek to his own, and his heart broke knowing that only this – only he – could bring Humanity's Strongest to tears. He pulled away and stared into Levi's eyes one more time. "Be okay," he said. It wasn't an order, it wasn't yet another command from Levi's commander.

Levi knew it was supposed to be Erwin's last request.

Levi only had time to nod through his tears before Erwin's eyes closed and the man collapsed against his chest.


End file.
